A Life Unexamined
Doubly Invisible

Invisible x 2 (as queer and asexual)

I’ve been pretty quiet these past few months, for several reasons. One is that I graduated from my degree (as valedictorian) in July, and there was a lot of busy stuff happening prior to that with uni. The other is that I’m currently working on archaeological digs, currently in Turkey, and next month in Italy. I was lucky enough to win a travelling scholarship from my faculty as well, so I’ll be…

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redbeardace:

Ugh.  Not the terrible SMH Matty Silver piece.

There was a lot of back and forth about that article last week.  Here are some of the highlights of the responses:

http://alifeunexamined.wordpress.com/2014/06/24/why-asexual-is-a-label-i-need-an-open-letter-to-matty-silver/

http://alifeunexamined.wordpress.com/2014/06/27/an-open-letter-to-matty-silver-response/

https://aceintranslation.wordpress.com/2014/06/29/a-response-to-matty-silver-no-i-cannot-agree-to-disagree/

https://aceintranslation.wordpress.com/2014/06/29/correspondence-with-matty-silver/

Basically, that author refuses to even acknowledge that what she said was hurtful and ignorant and can’t understand why we’re so upset.

Seriously, again??? Can’t it stop spreading now? *headdesk*

queenieofaces:

Hey, I have a person in my inbox who’s a sex-repulsed ace in a poly relationship with two allo folks, and who’s looking for people to talk to/resources for their situation, especially for dealing with feelings of worthlessness/brokenness because allo partners are having sex and they don’t want to/can’t have sex.  Recommendations?

Your person can contact me if they want (in a poly-type relationship as the ‘secondary-type’ person), but I don’t know how helpful I’ll be on the sex-repulsion bit. I mean, I’m aro and sex is definitely not on the agenda, but it’s not such a big thing in our relationship anyway.

tristifere:

mitszell:

redbeardace:

tristifere:

I am thinking about publishing the conversation, but at the moment I feel a bit of trepedation about publishing a private conversation? However, her attitude is just… I have been nothing but polite - just like Jo - but she’s hostile and extremely defensive in her responses (not to mention that she seems completely oblivious about just how contradictory all her statements are?). Very unprofessional.

She’s a public figure and the correspondence is about what she’s doing in that capacity, so I think it’s fair to post it.  There shouldn’t be an expectation of total confidentiality here.

Reading this actually makes me mad enough to want to find this woman and drop kick her in the ovaries.  Then, when she gets upset, I’m going to say, “don’t worry, this didn’t happen because I don’t really exist.”

You haven’t seen her correspondence with me. Her latest response has tipped me over the edge, I’m afraid. The attitude of this lady ticks me off so much. I’ve typed out a rage-induced response and I’m going to publish it, together with our correspondence.

(but I will sleep on it one night and edit my post tomorrow - experience teaches me not to post anything written in rage at 1am)

Mitszell, I’d be really interested in seeing how she responded to you. As you can see, she didn’t respond to anything I said with any idea of what’s going on at all. Let me know when you do publish your correspondence?

~Jo

An Open Letter to Matty Silver: Response

I received a reply from Matty Silver in response to my previous post, which I posted on Twitter. I thought I would share it here and add some final comments.

Dear Jo,

You say that the asexual community needs acceptance and support not disbelief and condemnation and you find my article“incredibly disappointing”. You state: “It is worth pointing out that I have yet to come across a piece of…

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jo-alifeunexamined:

redbeardace:

victrixace:

redbeardace:

Scare quotes in the first sentence and it’s all downhill from there.  You don’t even have to scroll down to the comment section for dismissive attacks and ignorant nonsense!

This article really makes me want to get finished with my posts analyzing and responding to negative comments, since pretty much every sentence of this article is covered by that series in some way.

The comments are actually pretty good at the moment. Only 1 completely negative comment out of 12 though more comments are pending at the moment.
One comment is also the author responding to a comment and promptly losing the argument.

Yeah, if you have to whine about “Freedom of Speech” as a defense against being blatantly and inexcusably offensive, you’ve pretty much lost whatever point you’re trying to make…

I’m not able to comment on it.  I can’t tell if it’s closed, if I’m region blocked, or if my browser is just refusing to let me engage with such an outrageous display of junk.  Your comment covers some of the points I noticed when reading the article, though.  (I mean, seriously, citing Kinsey and completely ignoring the X?  Really now?)

Looks like my exam studying will be taken up by ignorant-article-response on my blog tonight!

And I have a response up here: http://jo-alifeunexamined.tumblr.com/post/89746185196/why-asexual-is-a-label-i-need-and-not-just-a-way-to

Why Asexual is a Label I Need (and not just a way to hide from my sexuality): An Open Letter to Matty Silver

An open letter in response to Matty Silver’s article in the SMH: ‘Asexuality: Don’t be too hasty with labels.’

Dear Ms Silver,

As an asexual person and an asexual activist, I am always happy to see asexuality featured in public discourse. As a sexual orientation, asexuality is woefully under-studied, under-discussed and under-represented in the media and in everyday discussions of sexuality. As a result, it took me a long time to figure out that I was asexual. Like David Jay, I was nineteen before I realised that is was even possible to not feel sexual attraction to anyone, to not feel sexual desire towards other people.

Being asexual is a source of pride for me. It is a part of who I am, a label I am proud to wear, a subject I am happy to talk about. I don’t know if you noticed, but the photo included in your article is of a group of asexuals in a pride parade: it would seem that they too see asexuality as an important part of their identity. So it will perhaps not surprise you when I say that I found your article incredibly disappointing. Because what the asexual community needs, at its core, is acceptance and support, not disbelief and condemnation.

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redbeardace:

victrixace:

redbeardace:

Scare quotes in the first sentence and it’s all downhill from there.  You don’t even have to scroll down to the comment section for dismissive attacks and ignorant nonsense!

This article really makes me want to get finished with my posts analyzing and responding to negative comments, since pretty much every sentence of this article is covered by that series in some way.

The comments are actually pretty good at the moment. Only 1 completely negative comment out of 12 though more comments are pending at the moment.
One comment is also the author responding to a comment and promptly losing the argument.

Yeah, if you have to whine about “Freedom of Speech” as a defense against being blatantly and inexcusably offensive, you’ve pretty much lost whatever point you’re trying to make…

I’m not able to comment on it.  I can’t tell if it’s closed, if I’m region blocked, or if my browser is just refusing to let me engage with such an outrageous display of junk.  Your comment covers some of the points I noticed when reading the article, though.  (I mean, seriously, citing Kinsey and completely ignoring the X?  Really now?)

Looks like my exam studying will be taken up by ignorant-article-response on my blog tonight!

I wrote a piece for Role Reboot on asexuality and my personal experience of navigating narratives of sex and relationships. Check it out above. :)

u the 1 that is asexual? is u is then i will tell u yo problem…u luk at people as sex objects thats it, u peverted.

This is what I found in my Facebook messages this morning, after I was on TV talking about asexuality the other night. As sent to me.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m not asexual, I’m just a pervert! We’re all just perverts because we think other people might possibly want to have sex! And because we don’t want to have sex with them! Facebook person, you are hilarious.